Why I don’t drink much anymore
Those of you that know me, know I used to drink a lot. I mean I draaaaank! 7 days a week: vodka, wine, Jagabombs, Captain… Some of my best memories are from my drinking days. I have done some wickedly funny shit (and even more so – wickedly stupid shit) while being under the influence.
I stopped drinking about 7 years ago. Cold turkey. I had just found out I had Hashimoto’s and I felt like garbage on a daily basis. I felt hungover all the time, even when I didn’t have a sip of alcohol. So I decided I wasn’t going to drink until I felt better. I had “3 months” in my head. I ended up not drinking for THREE YEARS. Not a drop. I have since dabbled in some drinks here and there but definitely not like the old days. Although, who in their 40s can drink like they used to? Ammiright? I feel hung over if I go to bed past 10 pm, without drinking any booze.
I am not writing this to explain myself. I don’t think people that choose not to drink need to explain themselves. I am this writing to get it out there so maybe someday not drinking can become more accepted and normalized. Below are my personal reasons for limiting my alcohol intake.
But I wanted to first start with 2 profound things I learned from those 3 completely sober years:
COPING – It wasn’t until I cut alcohol out cold turkey that I realized I was using it as a coping mechanism for pretty much everything! A reason to celebrate, loneliness, a bad day at work, a good day at work, to fit in, uncomfortable situations… I had a reason to pour myself a drink every day. I no longer had to tap into my emotions to cope, I kept stuffing them down, and just poured myself another drink.
FUN. I have a lot of fun and I am fucking fun when I drink. So, I have had to look at how I can tap into that weird person while being sober.
Now that I have gained some coping skills and tapped into the weird/sober Erin, I still limit alcohol because:
- It’s difficult to find clean alcohol. And y’all know I try to keep toxins at a minimum where I can. There are better options every year so I am hopeful about this.
- It doesn’t make me feel good. Period. Once in a while I can enjoy a couple of drinks without feeling like a dumpster the next day. However, I usually end up waking up to my heart beating out of control in the middle of the night, sweating like I’m a damn college kid at a rave party (do people still go to raves? what about foam parties?). It makes my guts hurt and I feel like I am breathing fire. I think these are clear signs it’s not going so well for me.
- No matter how clean your drink is, your body processes liquor like a toxin. What I mean by this is that your organs put everything else on hold…processing food, absorbing the nutrients from said food, detoxing other ailments in your body, etc. All of the bodily processes get put on hold so your body can focus on cleaning up the liquor.
- Because sometimes I just don’t want to. The end. Period. Like I said, if we normalize not drinking then people won’t feel the need to explain themselves. And they can simply say “no thanks.”
- Alcohol does literally nothing for my body. I am focusing on providing my body with clean, nutritious fuel. So why waste the calories on something that gives my body no benefits?
- There is a lot of time and energy AND MONEY put into drinking. When I am not worried about drinking it makes packing for trips/weekends away more simple and cheaper.
- This is my favorite one right now – Out of respect for my body. I am asking my body to do so many things on this healing adventure: detox heavy metals, lyme, glyphosate, etc. I am also trying to heal my liver as it is very sluggish (could it be from the many years of heavy drinking when I was young…hmmm…). My body is doing an amazing job at detoxing and healing! So, in the effort of respecting my body for doing all of these amazing things I am honoring it by not adding in a bunch of alcohol for it to also detox. I am really enjoying this beautiful harmony that I am creating with my body.
With that said, I might have a glass of wine while cooking here and there. Or a clean seltzer on the boat. But alcohol is no longer a focus for me. I am surprised to say that if I never drank again I would be fine with that. It took me a while to get to this point but it feels right.
Do I miss going out and getting lit and dancing with my girls? Hell yeah! And that might happen again. However, it’s no longer my coping mechanism for a bad day or a disagreement with a friend or significant other, etc. And I think my relationships with the people in my life are deeper and richer because of this. So I am happy with this tradeoff.
Now that I have seen what it’s like to be sober I realize – it’s really hard to not drink in this society. If you have someone in your life or if you go out with a friend and they are choosing to drink tea, or water, or a f*cking kitty cocktail, support them in that. There is so much pressure to drink it’s insane! This is probably why so many people struggle with alcoholism in our Country. Try supporting your friends in these situations instead. And if you feel the need to push alcohol on them, take a look at yourself and ask “why”.
I know this has nothing to do with this post, but I’ve always wanted to sign something with this saying-
Stay Classy San Diego,
EZ
